I was feeling sad yesterday, I’ve deactivated my facebook account for like 3-4weeks ago, simply because I can’t stand seeing a particular person being happy without me ..
contrary on my previous posts saying “that if we really love someone, we have to be happy for that persons happiness even if that includes us or not”
Hindi na ako magpapakaplastic para sabihin na I’m totally moved on, na hindi na ako affected, na hindi ko na sya namimiss, na hindi ko sya naiisip, where in fact — I do.
so, yun nga kahapon ng umaga nag open ako ng fb, browse lang, watched some videos and read some shared articles, check out some friends account and his account –
bungad palang, sakit much na hahaha! cover photo nya parin kasi ang picture ng ex nya, na ewan kung sila na ulit kasi gusto nyang balikan :’)
tapos, nakita ko umalis sila kasama ng mga ka team nya sa office, nag punta sila Sta.Maria para maki fiesta and I can see that he is happy..
I don’t know .. I’m feeling guilty na nasasaktan ako kasi masaya sya, na feeling ko ang okay okay nya .. di ko nga alam kung naapektuhan ba sya sakin, kasi after ng nangyari he wanted to win her ex back.. hahahah
naiiyak naman ako while typing this
we’ll anyway, after browsing pictures, I deactivated my account again and pretend that everything’s alright..
naligo, lumabas na kami ni ate, kumain, nag shop and nag church ..
and here’s one of the song lyrics that we sang
“There’s no sin too great,
There’s no pain too deep,
The cross declares it is done.
There’s no shame too real,
That His love won’t heal,
Forever the victory is won.”
gustong gusto kong damahin sana na nalulungkot ako, na mag emote, na iblog lahat ng sakit but then para ko ng sinabi na hindi kaya ng Diyos kong pagalingin ang anu mang sakit na nararamdaman ko..
so while singing that song, I prayed hard to release me from this kind of pain, and claimed that there is no pain to deep that He can’t heal, may it be physical, emotional, financial, spiritual pain LAHAT kayang soĺusyunan yan ni Jesus.
.. yung feeling after? ang gaan lang knowing that there is a big God fighting over our battles and all we have to do is to place our faith and trust in Him because the Victory is won.